I dreaded the phone call I had to make. Not-so-good-news. It wasn't poor student performance. It wasn't a behavior issue. It was me. I made a mistake. Normally, one would think making a mistake would be minor issue to deal with. Just call, apologize, move on. Nothing, however, is as simple as that. At least, that's how I saw it. I had a history with the person who would be the receiver of the news. I thought, surely, this would add more fuel to the fire for this other person. I fretted. I paced. I woke up in the middle of the night trying to decide how to phrase the news. I practiced. I spoke to another teacher. I spoke to an administrator.
I got myself all worked up for nothing. The other person's response silenced me. "No worries! It happens. Thanks for the heads-up." That's it? I thought. You aren't going to berate me? I was totally baffled. Grateful, but baffled. I've been replaying this in my head ever since. Why did I have this idea that the other person had an opinion of me that I seem to have misinterpreted?
There are a few possibilities.
I think the reason I keep going over this is because I might have avoided the days of anxiety. In retrospect, everything looks different, and I want to use this experience for learning. I don't think I will ever know exactly what just happened, but I sure am glad it turned out the way it did. It will help me remember to always maintain perspective and just do what needs to be done.
I got myself all worked up for nothing. The other person's response silenced me. "No worries! It happens. Thanks for the heads-up." That's it? I thought. You aren't going to berate me? I was totally baffled. Grateful, but baffled. I've been replaying this in my head ever since. Why did I have this idea that the other person had an opinion of me that I seem to have misinterpreted?
There are a few possibilities.
- My interpretation of prior events is not the other person's interpretation of prior events.
- My interpretation of the past is accurate, but this wasn't worth pursuing. It really wasn't a big deal.
- In the past, the other person was going through a rough time, and I happened to be the recipient of stress. (I have no idea if this was the case.)
- I've gotten better at communicating.
I think the reason I keep going over this is because I might have avoided the days of anxiety. In retrospect, everything looks different, and I want to use this experience for learning. I don't think I will ever know exactly what just happened, but I sure am glad it turned out the way it did. It will help me remember to always maintain perspective and just do what needs to be done.