I have pretty much abandoned Facebook. Originally, it was how I kept up with family members who live far from me. I have a few cousins who do a phenomenal job of sharing their family's lives. But over the last several years, I heard confirmation via research of what I was experiencing myself. Viewing the feeds, reading the comments, seeing what so many others were enjoying, I was more and more enveloped by sadness and jealousy. So I stopped. I stopped commenting on birthdays. I used to write little poems accompanied by cute little gifs. I stopped clicking like, separating myself from the hundreds of others compelled to raise their hand and say, "Look at me! I noticed what you said!" I stopped sharing "You might like this!" videos and comics and articles on friends' feeds. The distance feels good.
Most recently, my husband and I got a chuckle from all the people who wished him Happy Birthday on the fake day he told Facebook was his birthday. It wasn't. It told us who knows him well and who doesn't. My birthday isn't on Facebook at all. So I only have a few mentions by those who know me. They probably also know my phone number. This instance got me thinking about how impersonal social media really is. It is crowd-sourcing a sense of connectedness. But in the process, we all instinctively evaluate just how close or far we are from the person with whom we are communicating. This is a different degree of separation.
I am much more inclined to be moved by someone who sends me a text or leaves me a message on my phone for my birthday than one who leaves me a note on Facebook. Don't we all rank these touches? Why is that?
Secretly, we want to say, "I'm a closer friend/relative because I contacted her on a number you don't have!" I guess everyone needs to be valued. How that gets expressed is different for each of us. I received one sweet and thoughtful text on my birthday that made it clear the sender has no idea what is currently happening in my life. Nor do 95% of my "friends" on Facebook. I certainly won't be making any announcements. Those who need to know already know.
I'm still trying to decide how much social media exposure is healthy for me. Keep it real, folks!
Most recently, my husband and I got a chuckle from all the people who wished him Happy Birthday on the fake day he told Facebook was his birthday. It wasn't. It told us who knows him well and who doesn't. My birthday isn't on Facebook at all. So I only have a few mentions by those who know me. They probably also know my phone number. This instance got me thinking about how impersonal social media really is. It is crowd-sourcing a sense of connectedness. But in the process, we all instinctively evaluate just how close or far we are from the person with whom we are communicating. This is a different degree of separation.
I am much more inclined to be moved by someone who sends me a text or leaves me a message on my phone for my birthday than one who leaves me a note on Facebook. Don't we all rank these touches? Why is that?
Secretly, we want to say, "I'm a closer friend/relative because I contacted her on a number you don't have!" I guess everyone needs to be valued. How that gets expressed is different for each of us. I received one sweet and thoughtful text on my birthday that made it clear the sender has no idea what is currently happening in my life. Nor do 95% of my "friends" on Facebook. I certainly won't be making any announcements. Those who need to know already know.
I'm still trying to decide how much social media exposure is healthy for me. Keep it real, folks!